Production Musings

Be Still

// February 15th, 2009 // No Comments » // Thoughts

Sadness  ::  Chaos ::  Laughter  ::  Joy  ::  Grief  ::  Peace  ::  Guilt  ::  Excitement

This past week has been something else.  It may be safe to say that it’s been one the most challenging weeks of the past year.  I’ve experienced a little of every emotion imaginable in a short period of time.  (INFJ – Feeler) Last February 11, my younger brother passed away unexpectedly and I’ve been working through all the grief and emotions of this loss.  It seems that this particular week was more difficult than Christmas or Thanksgiving.  Being with family through times like this is priceless.  Other things in life have added their toll as well — summed up:  God is showing me places deep inside myself that are broken….and have been for a while.  I think we all have those places and sometimes walk through life seemingly unaware of them until God metaphorically shines His light on our souls to reveal it to us.  Added in with all of this was the joy and excitement of having brief video interviews with 37 people who have recently decided to follow Jesus.  I’m not kidding, you could see the joy and peace on the faces of each person….that’s just what God will do!  Speaking of 37 videos…I was responsible for those as well as lighting the new stage design this week.  (Posts about those will follow soon.)  Needless to say, a Sunday afternoon nap was in order.

Stress :: Tension :: Control :: Fear

Yeah, sometimes I experience those things and I did this week. But here’s the thing: as technical production people we work hard – really hard – to make sure our lighting transitions are set and timed just right,  colors match, we’ve selected just the right typeface, just the right amount of haze and so on.  We love it.  We live to serve like this.  However, this is key:  we have to make time to stop.  There must be that space in each of us.  So, I’m learning to be still.   I shared all of this with the team this morning.  We all stop what we’re doing each Sunday morning around 7:30.  We exhale.  We connect with one another.  We stop and pray with one another.

Stillness ::  Peace

I played a song this morning for the team that a friend wrote.  His name is Nic Carver and he leads worship at Brentwood Church here in town.  It’s been in heavy rotation this week.  I love the pictures he paints.  It put to words and music my experience this week:  “can’t move but can’t stop moving” and “busy discontent, working harder, I’m spent” and “trust you or just keep trusting me” and finally resting in “much greater hands than your own.” God used this song to help me stop being a “Martha in a Mary’s world.“  This week I gave up trying to work through the grief, chaos, massive to-do list, and long hours on my own.  With his permission, I’m putting the song up here along with the lyrics.  I hope it brings the same encouragement to you!!

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Be still

Chorus
Be still my heart and know you’re not controlling what you fear
Be still my soul find rest and know you’re in much greater hands than your own

Verse 1
My cloudy heart will break feel exhausted, I’m frayed
Can’t move but can’t stop moving
My busy discontent, working harder, I’m spent
Treading lightly, but I know I’m drowning
Help me stop

Verse 2
My faith is often frail, terrified to unveil
Trust you or just keep trusting me
I’m often far behind an image I’ve refined
But closer to the ground, I’m dirty

Clean me up

(breathe in, just breathe in…)